Are you making a great first impression?
Sometimes you only get one shot to make a great first impression with her to have her love you and want you.
And I’m not just talking about how you present yourself in the best possible light.
I’m talking about making her feel great that she’s investing into you.
I’ve talked before about how you should reward her investment with escalation, but it’s even more crucial when you do it as soon as you open her. You’re setting the tone and pace of the interaction from the beginning.
Not only are you making it normal that you naturally touch people as you interact with them, but you are reinforcing her good behavior for investing towards you when you reciprocally sexually escalate with her.
We get a nice dose of oxytocin whenever we touch another person. It feels good. Oxytocin is the “cuddle hormone” because large doses of it are released after we’ve had sex with someone and naturally cuddle up with them.
But there’s also another important reason why you should start escalating and rewarding her early from the very beginning…
Creating Lasting First Impressions
Contrary to what some guys think, the girl won’t usually remember your opener was or what you said when you approached.
However, you best believe that they remember how they felt.
“First impressions, you know, often go a long way, and last a long time.” —Dickens, The Life and Adventures of Martin Chuzzlewit
There is a psychological phenomenon known as outcome primacy that states that the experience from the first outcome has a huge and long lasting effect on that person’s behavior and decision making.
What does this mean?
This means that when you positively and enthusiastically approach a girl to get a great response from her, and then you reward that response with even more positivity and escalation…
How do you think she is going to feel and want to continue doing next?
She’s going to feel amazing and want to keep investing towards you!
She’s going to start loving you for your going in with great energy!
There is a huge difference between opening and transitioning poorly by doing it with no energy nor rewards, and doing an amazing job going in with full of energy and calibrating your transition to either reward or punish (break rapport) her.
I remember when I first started working on approaching and opening that my hook rate was pretty low. Maybe less than 50% of the girls I approached would respond somewhat negatively and either walk away or be disinterested.
It definitely stung at first but I was new and wanted to work on myself so I pushed further. I would just plow through and break rapport by teasing and stay in until I got some positive reaction. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.
It wasn’t until I started get some advice from my mentors and started experimenting and practicing on my opening that things turned 180 degrees.
I’m able to hook practically any set I open now by using great energy from the beginning and rewarding her with escalation and good emotions. Here is an example of me doing that with dancefloor game…
Dancefloor Impression After Lay
The other night I was in New York to meet with a girl I had matched with from Bumble (it’s dating app like Tinder). We met for drinks and bounced to a few bars.
Her logistics were bad because she lived with strict parents, her bedroom was right across from her parent’s room and there was no lock on her door lol. I also lived pretty far away so I decided to I pull her in the parking lot and close her.
After the lay, I hugged and said goodbye to her, but I wasn’t finished gaming.
I decided to go back to one of the bars where I had drinks with her because it was starting to get busy and I was seeing a lot of hot girls walk in.
I went back to the bar and noticed that it had gotten more packed since I left.
It’s always fun gaming after getting a lay.
I started doing some pre-opens to build some social proof and pre-selection throughout the venue.
All the sets hooked and I continued to walk towards the dancefloor. There was this hot 3 set dancing in the middle of the dancefloor. I remember them from
earlier that night when I was on the date with the Bumble girl.
I noticed that they were dancing with mostly themselves. They were definitely the hottest girls in the bar.
Every guy tried to go up to them and dance, but the girls either brushed them off or one of the girlfriends rescued her from the guy.
I wasn’t fazed by this at all because the guys were approaching them in a very creepy way by trying to grind with them from behind or went in very half-ass and asking for permission.
I knew exactly how I would approach…
I slowly walked my way in front of one of the hot girls and lightly touched her forearm to get her attention and have her face me before I started speaking.
I made eye contact and with extreme certainty, big smile and no hesitation I delivered my complimentary opener, “Wow! I love your hair!”
She took about half a second and gave a huge smile back, “Oh really?! Thank you!!” as she laughed, took a step back to get a good look at me and brushed her hair back.
I then continued by rewarding her behavior by putting my arm around her to bring her in for a hug and transitioned by speaking into her ear, “You are so adorable! Where the hell are you from?”
I took a small step back and she gives a big smile again and says she’s from Montreal, Canada.
I then give a surprised and happy facial expression and bring her in for another hug, kiss her on the forehead and say, “Oh my God! I love Canada and poutine fries!”
Poutine fries is local delicacy in Montreal so I’m also building commonalities with her.
She shrieked with joy and said she loved them too.
Then a new song came up and I didn’t want to continue having a conversation on a dancefloor without using this song to spike her BT to my advantage so just started grooving next to her and she started grooving with me.
I then grabbed her hand made her do a spin and started grinding on her. All the guys that were standing by the walls with their drinks in their hands looked at me dumbfounded.
That’s how you create a good first impression.
My great, enthusiastic energy allowed her to open up and be incredibly receptive with me from the start so I continued to reward and qualify her.
My calibrated rapid escalation perpetuated her good behavior.
I would continuously reward her throughout the interaction for her good behavior.
If she didn’t invest then I would punish her by breaking rapport. This is called operant conditioning and is what further causes her work towards you.
I was like her personal drug every time she responded well me. It was like she was taking a bump whenever she invested heavily into me.
Don’t make it more difficult for yourself. Approach and make a great first impression so you don’t have to fight an uphill battle to attract her.
She will remember how she felt when she responded to you in the beginning more than how she feels in the middle of the interaction due to outcome primacy. Make her want to continue getting those good initial feelings from you.