We have already discussed what qualification is and why it is important. In short, it is a means to identity your ideal partner and relationship or creating those ideal behaviors and triggering investment to solidify attraction. All of my successes with women have involved qualification in one way shape or form when they are qualifying themselves more than I am.
I also previously discussed why you should stop qualifying yourself. Throughout the interaction you want her to try to seek your approval or show her that you are more interested in other things besides her looks. Qualification is sort of like the social Jiu-Jitsu of conversations. You can find out so much information about the person and manipulate interactions in your favor. How does that sound? Remember to use these wisely. Let’s start with the basics…
Preloading is the idea of planting ideas, actions, or behaviors into somebody’s subconscious without them even knowing about it. It has been used by NLP practitioners and others who have studied psychology. It can be used to build anticipation for an event and trigger a behavioral response. A lot of us do this all the time during normal conversation and we are unaware of it. When somebody is about to tell a joke, they may say, “Oh my god! The funniest thing happened to me the other night. You have got to hear this…” You are implanting that what you are about to say is funny, so the other person should laugh when you say it. Their brain chemistry and emotions are already beginning to churn towards laughter before you have even said anything funny. This can be applied to many other emotions or behaviors you would like to create. Let’s take a look at some that will help move things along the interaction.
Behavioral qualifiers come in real handy when you want to bring things to the next level or elicit a certain type of action. You will want to build up to these as you move a long the conversation and look for the opportune and relevant moments. Below are some common and efficient qualifiers to progress the interaction to a more intimate vibe. However, there are many behaviors phrases and words that can be used to create the desired effect Feel free to use any type of qualifier you want and experiment.
In the beginning of the interaction I like to start off light at first, unless I’m going really direct. After I open someone, I usually say something like, “Wow! You’re really friendly! You seem like you’re from (region/country)” or “You’re actually very friendly, where you from?” I’m qualifying her for being friendly even if she may not be that friendly.
If she accepts this frame, the set will run smoother when she is friendlier. They usually accept but if she doesn’t it at first, provide a justification as to why you think she is so friendly and she is more likely to believe it. If she is being a total bitch or just really unreceptive, continue to break rapport with her until you get some attraction and receive more playful or friendly behavior from her. Then you could qualify her with a tease, smile and say, “You know, I wasn’t too sure about you when I first met you, but now that I’ve gotten to know you a little better, you seem really cool and friendly.”
As we continue through the conversation, I’m going to look for an opportunity to use stronger qualifiers. If she does something cute, I’ll say, “You know… you’re pretty cute when you smile like that and show your dimples” or “I find it really cute that you are into (blah blah blah).” This is one step above just being friendly and I’m starting to reward her with more interest. Cute can also be ambiguously interpreted as to whether you think the action is cute or she is the one that is cute. Something that is slightly one step above and more direct than cute is adorable. She will begin to feel good and allow you to slightly further escalate her either physically or verbally.
Here is where all ambiguity is off the table and both parties knows whats going on. This is something you plant sometime after you have already said she is cute or adorable. Both of you are already beginning to vibe with each other and she is giving you indicators of interest (IOIs ) and now here you are basically give her a subtle statement of interest (SOI).
For example, she could have an accent and as soon as she finishes speaking, you could say, “You know, I have just have to say that your accent and the way you speak is quite sexy. I can hardly focus on what you’re saying.” It could also be some physical behavior like how she walks or even an interest she has like science fiction. “I find it really sexy that you are into Star Trek and have a charming personality.” You could even accuse her after a while and say, “Are you trying to seduce me? I see what you’re doing here” 😉
This is a powerful word that you could use to dispel in your arsenal of charming and witty banter. Spontaneity creates a sense of adventure and allows her more likely to go out and do fun things with you. You could directly ask her, “Are you spontaneous?” or do a cold read then ask a follow up question like, “You seem like you are spontaneous, what is the most adventurous thing you’ve done?” Most people have done something crazy or adventurous and if she answers, she is passively accepting the frame as being spontaneous. If she does not accept the behavior, remember to just keep giving descriptive justifications if applicable
Another qualifier that can help is being independent. “Are you one of those type of girls that just follows and does everything her friend’s say or would you say that you are independent?” If she says that she is independent, she is more likely to ditch her friends when you want to bounce or move her someplace else. These are good ways to screen for girls who more likely to go for a same night lay.
All of these qualifiers are great for creating the types of behaviors that you want to stimulate investment and create more attraction. Start building up the “qualification ladder” with these and have fun creating your own and see how other people’s behaviors start to change or amplify because of your ninja word tactics. You can also check out some advanced qualification and logistical qualifiers to generate more investment and attraction to seal the deal.