You see a girl in the bar and she is talking with her friends. She turns to the side and sees you. You both make eye contact with each other. Now it’s on. You approach her without breaking eye contact and open her. The game has begun.
Eye contact is one of those abstract outer and inner game techniques that can be confusing to somebody who is new to game and pickup. It is outer game because you can give general behavioral guidelines to follow based on microcalibrating to her responses. And it’s inner game because strong eye contact displays confidence and you both will subconsciously feel that.
So how do you make good eye contact with a girl? Michigan State University provides some best eye contact practices and mistakes to avoid when it comes to communication and eye contact.
For example, the 50/70 rule says you should maintain eye contact 70% of the time when you are listening and 50% of the time when you are speaking. This shows interest and confidence without staring. Once you establish eye contact, you should maintain it for 4-5 seconds then you can slowly look to the side and then go back to eye contact Don’t dart your eyes when you look away and definitely don’t want to look down before you begin speaking. It’s also important to remember to smile at times and look interested with your facial expressions when listening.
Those are some good general eye contact tips to follow, especially for presentations and professional settings. But is there anything else we should know when trying to attract and seduce a woman? Yes.
When I see a girl, I maintain and don’t break eye contact the whole time up to the approach. I generally follow the 50/70 rule when I open a girl indirectly. As time goes on and I have developed enough attraction and qualified her, I will start displaying more eye contact to get in more of a seduction frame.
I also hold more eye contact when I have isolation and start escalating for the kiss. I will display eye contact about 80-90% of the time. When I approach her directly and display my interest from the open, I will also have more eye contact than the 50/70 rule.
I will also lower my voice and speak more slowly when I start showing more eye contact. This amplifies the effect and will turn her on even more. She will sense your confidence and sexual energy. You will be amazed how powerful this can be the first time you do this.
There are a few different eye contact gazes you can use for each type of stage in a conversation. Check out the infographic below to see what I mean. I don’t use the business gaze when speaking with a woman I’m attracted to. I will usually just alternate looking between both of her eyes. This is something we all naturally do.
As time goes on and I’ve started to built enough attraction and rapport I will start to use the triangular or social gaze by looking between her eyes and lips. This will subconsciously display my interest and prime her up for a kiss close. Eventually she will start mirroring me and now I’m close to kissing her.
If she triangular gazes me before I do, even better! I will mirror her and know I will be able to kiss her now or isolate and then escalate. I will usually use the intimate gaze, where I look between her eyes and up and down her body, during dance floor game or after I’ve kissed her to turn her on and subliminally pre-seed the pull. I won’t do this for long as I don’t want to validate her much so she will want more later.
These are some general guidelines and tips to follow when you want to display good and confident eye contact to a girl. Keep practicing your eye contact by approaching more and staying in set. These will start becoming more natural and you will start getting more results and feeling more confident in no time.