You see that hot babe from across the bar and make eye contact her. She quickly glances at you and then goes back to her friends. You decide to make your move and approach her. She’s pretty friendly but she’s not totally into you. You want to take things to the next level and get her really interested and attracted. How do you create that sexual tension?
This is something that a lot of guys and my students have trouble with before they understand how to create sexual tension. Before you have sex with a girl, you need to create sexual tension.
Before you get sexual tension, you generally need to generate attraction first. On a few instances, they both may happen simultaneously if the environment is right, she’s in the right mood and you display the right sexual energy. Here are some ways you can ramp up the sexual tension…
Never underestimate the power of eye contact. So much information is given based on how you give and receive eye contact. Is she engaged in what you’re saying? Is she looking between your eyes and lips?
Not only does eye contact show confidence when you speak or interact with somebody, but it can also generate attraction and sexual tension. Make eye contact with the girl most of the time, while you are speaking or listening, and she will feel begin to feel it.
The longer you hold it, the stronger the sexual tension. This is better when you have have enough attraction. There is a fine line between being creepy and maintaining eye contact that is attractive and comfortable. Learn how to make eye contact with a girl in my previous post to get a better understanding. Your intuition on having the right balance of eye contact will come with practice in-field and calibration.
You may not consciously realize it, but there is a certain vibe people give off to each based on how close they are to each other. Not only that, but also the direction or angle they are facing each has a strong effect. In short, the closer you are and the more you are directly facing them, the greater the sexual tension.
There is something called personal space that affects how we feel and react to people near us. Recall the moment you saw that hot girl from across the bar. There is a fair amount of distance from you both, so you don’t much feel much tension. Take a look at personal reaction bubbles showing the radius for our personal spaces.
Before you approach her, you in the public space between each other, which is between 12′ (3.6m) or 25′ (7.6m) or more. As you walk closer to her you start entering her social space, between 4′ (1.2m) and 12′ (3.6m). Depending on how big her group of friends is where she is, you will either open her or the group here or move in a step closer into her personal space.
You will most likely open and begin to talk with her in her personal space, which is between 1.5′ (0.45m) and 4′ (1.2m). This is fairly comfortable and safe for her, especially in a public setting like a bar, but you are in the early stages of closing that gap and creating that sexual tension.
As you game her more, you can begin to move closer into her intimate space that is within 1.5′ (0.45m) from her. Sometimes you can jump straight into the intimate space if she’s receptive enough and your vibe is right. She is being very vulnerable here because you could be a threat to her if you are dangerous or crazy. Part of sexual tension, is also creating a sense of danger, but since you are calibrated and normal she will feel that tension that is safe and attractive, but still on the verge of danger.
Your voice is very powerful. Most guys don’t take full advantage of what they have. You can communicate and connect much more deeply by how you speak, rather than the words you use. Women are attracted to guys who have the right tonality. You went through puberty for a reason. Use the bass in your voice and speak from your belly.
The patterns of your speech and deep voice can cause massive sexual tension and attraction. By slowing down your speech and having longer pauses in between your words and sentences, can have a profound and hypnotic effect. That is one of the key elements of seduction. Using your voice to put her in a trance and captivated.
Touch is a critical component of sexual tension as well. You can’t have sex with a girl without touching her. You must start touch from the beginning and escalate early. She has to feel comfortable with your touch first before you can create sexual tension with it.
When you’re with a girl, you must be social be someone who is comfortable starting physical contact early. Once you get past the initial formalities of handshaking and even high-fives or spinning her with dance moves, you need to create more of a subtext with your touch. What does that mean?
Let’s say you’re talking with a girl and you’re standing close within her intimate space. While you are speaking normally about non-sexual topics, you could be resting your hand on her lower back or have your arm around her shoulder.
You could do a side hug and also speak or whisper in her ear. While sitting down next to each other, you could have your legs resting next to her. It’s normal and acceptable here. This isn’t something you would do with your male friends when there is plenty of room to sit nearby. You can also rest your hand on her leg while speaking or brush her hair while making a comment on her earnings or hair.
Finally, of course, there is the kiss. When you kiss the girl, you’ve solidified attraction. You must careful though, if you start making out and kissing profusely, sexual tension will start to fade. Why? Because you are not building it up when you are releasing it with all the kissing.
If you want to really build sexual tension, kiss her ASAP and early on the lips and don’t kiss her again until you’ve pulled her into a sex location. She will feel it build up the longer you do this and you are less likely to give her validation while also getting her excited to come home with you and less likely to get LMR (last minute resistance).
You now know how to create sexual tension. By combining all of these techniques and behavior together, you will no doubt get her hot and bothered and can’t wait to have her way with you. Have casual physical escalation that carries a sexual undertone that she won’t realize at first. Maintaining strong eye contact while closing the distance and slowing your speech down and inserting pauses, will subconsciously cause her to feel seduced. That is one of the key elements of initiating a kiss. Once you do kiss her, don’t milk it. Have her savor that feeling and let that sexual tension build up. That’s a summary on a few ways you have sexual tension. What other ways can you think of to create sexual tension?