Maybe nobody has ever been totally honest with you. Let me finally give you the cold, hard truth. Nobody really listens or cares about what you have to say. What?! Sorry to break it to you, but that’s how it usually is. That may or may not come off as a shock to you. People usually just focus on themselves in conversations. Allow me to elaborate further
You may already heard of this expression. Everybody’s favorite topic is themselves. There is truth in that. People can and will talk about themselves for hours and never get bored. If you listen to most people’s conversations you will notice that each person may listen to the other person for while, but usually tries to relate to it and redirect the conversations back on themselves.
Most people aren’t extreme narcissists. People usually empathize with one another, but given the option, they’d rather talk about themselves. On average, people spend 60% of their time talking about themselves during conversations.There has even been studies of the neuroscience of everybody’s favorite topic. Why do people enjoy talking about themselves so much?
Researchers took functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) of volunteers and asked them to give their own opinions and also the opinion of others. They found that the areas of the brain associated with motivation and reward showed more activity when they talked about themselves.
What’s also fascinating is that they also experimented if this was true whether they knew another person was listening or not. People still felt good when talking about themselves when they knew their opinions were private. But, they felt even more pleasure when they were sharing it with others. The neural activity areas that are triggered for this pleasure are also associated with other stimuli like sex, cocaine and delicious food.
Now, I’m not saying everybody doesn’t give a shit about you at all. People very close to you, such as your family or friends, will usually genuinely care about what you have to say. But even in those cases, you can notice a trend where people like to bring it back to themselves. This is even more prevalent with acquaintances and strangers you’ve just met. So if you want to attract that girl off the street that you don’t even know yet, how do you do it?
Many new guys that first start learning about the female psychology of attraction, make some crucial mistakes that are killing their chances with women. The guys assume they need to try to impress the girl with stories, accomplishments, their own personality traits, etc. They think they are DHV (demonstrating higher value), but all they are doing is bragging and qualifying themselves. DON’T do this!
Instead, you should try to build a deep connection with the girl and qualify them. Get them talking about themselves. You will also build investment and create attraction over time. You already know that everybody’s favorite topic is themselves and now you have scientific PROOF that it makes them feel GOOD. They will associate this good feeling towards YOU. They will like you more for actually listening to them and relating with them on deeper level. Other guys rarely give her this experience. Appeal to her emotions and motivations and she will come pouring herself out to you.