Ok… so you have been talking to this girl for a while… you guys end up doing various activities throughout the night… dinner, movie, some games… you want to make a move but are unsure when is the right time… you end either never making the move or awkwardly go for the kiss at the end of the night when you drop her off… and all you get a is a hug and MAYBE a kiss on the cheek where she says..
“Aww, thank you for the night…” And she walks in, by herself, and closes the door in front of you… How do you feel after that? Confused? Upset? Curious as to what happened?
Some guys think that if things go “well” on a date, that you can automatically go for the kiss at the end of the night. If things were only that simple…
To tell you the truth, it is that simple, but what some may consider a good date is a little further from the truth.
You see, you need to build a few things to have the attraction and comfort necessary for the kiss. You have to build a good connection with the girl through pleasant and engaging conversation.
While you are talking with the girl, you also need to slowly escalate with her when you see the openings. This is what will make her feel comfortable with you once you go for the kiss. Think about it…
If you barely touch the girl throughout the interaction, for example, no hand holding, no hugs, no playful hitting… then it is going to feel awkward for her when you try to kiss her. You may be asking, “What are the openings?”
These are the implicit opportunities she may display for you to escalate. These could be IOIs (indicators of interest) where she may flick her hair, laugh at something you just said, or playfully hit you when you tease her. Keep in mind, that she may not always show any openings, but you can still slowly go up the escalation ladder to test for her compliance.
Some things you can start off with are high fives, does she leave her hand there for a second or allows you to grab hers afterward? You can then move on to hugs and then hand holding. If she is not receptive, you can take a step back and just continue gaming and throw in some breaks in rapport and try again later. If she is receptive, great! You can continue gaming and keep calibrating to her responses. All of these escalation techniques can be used to reward her for something or be thrown in to see where you are in the game.
Once you have built enough attraction and comfort with her, you can test for her compliance for the kiss. There is a kiss close technique I like to use sometimes that is pretty effective. It allows you to escalate and know for sure whether you can kiss her or not. You will not get rejected if she is receptive. Here is what you do…
Kiss Close Technique
At some high point in the interaction where you have gone far enough into the escalation ladder, you could say something like, “You are just too cute / adorable / sexy / (whatever)” and you gently grab her face towards you and kiss her on one cheek and then on the other. If she does not move or moves towards your lips when you kiss her on the first cheek, you can kiss her. If she moves away, you can kiss her on her forehead. The only type people that kiss her on her forehead are her boyfriend or her father.
Do you see how powerful this is? She is telling you if she is ready to be kissed or not. If she is not ready, you are still showing her strong characteristics of her male figures.
There are other tall tell signs of when you can kiss her. Have you ever noticed that sometimes when a girl is into you, she will alternate looking between your eyes and your mouth? This is a great time for you to kiss her! Another way to go for the kiss is just when you feel it is right. Sometimes it is just efficient to trust our own instincts.
Don’t worry, if she ever turns away, you can still kiss her on the cheek or neck, take a step back, calibrate and continue gaming her and try again later. She may have not been ready for it. The fact that you made a move shows a lot of confidence and intent and if she is sticking around… she is passively accepting it and a higher chance you can kiss her later.