Are You Smiling Enough?

smile moreSome guys don’t smile. Those guys don’t get laid. Do you smile?

This is one piece of advice that gets thrown around a lot and some guys still don’t do it enough. Most guys know they should smile but forget to smile because they are thinking about what say next and not enjoying the process or being in the moment. Their idea of smiling could also be just a faint smirk and it falls flat.

Why should you smile and why should smile more? Smiling conveys you are friendly and not hostile. You are approachable and social. It also displays confidence and you are comfortable in your environment. These are all important things to develop attraction and comfort with your girl (and her friends).

To illustrate through an extreme example, let’s you are on an expedition on some remote island. As you are doing some work, you notice a group of natives for the first time nearby. They also see you. You make eye contact and both of you are unsure if either of you are friendly. You don’t know anything about each other.

native tribe waterfall

You then decide to slowly show a modest smile and raise your hand as a greeting showing you don’t have any weapons and you’re friendly and come in peace. They slowly start smiling but are still cautious and walk towards you. You also slowly walk towards them and don’t make any sudden movements to alarm them.

When you finally meet with one of them (probably the leader), you smile again and decide to hand over a piece of fruit you happen to be carrying as a peace offering. The native gives another big smile and happily takes your gift. He knows you are friendly. You are now welcomed into the group.

A smile confuses an approaching frown. ~Author Unknown

When you approach a set, you should be smiling right from the start. This is important. Befriend everybody, especially the leader, mother hen or AMOG (alpha male of group) by offering value. You can offer value by providing fun, positive energy, humor, genuine compliments, breaking rapport, etc.

Smile to everybody in the group occasionally, but don’t have a cheesy or fake smile like this guy.

cheesy smile

You should genuinely have a smile where your eyes sorta wrinkle on the sides like our good man James Franco.

real smile james francoSmiling with your eyes is authentic. If you have to force yourself because you are not used to it, that’s OK. You will eventually start to feel comfortable and it will actually start to come naturally the more you do it and you will subconsciously trigger yourself to feel better. Smiling makes you happier.

This is especially important when are you breaking rapport to spark attraction. She will know you are joking or teasing when you smile. Otherwise she may think are being serious or an asshole.

You will understand when you need to smile less than you need to the more you practice. Stay in set longer and you will become attuned to their behaviors and responses. You will know when to smile less once you are in isolation and want to get into more of a seduction frame. Focus on smiling more in the beginning when you have to game the whole group. You will become more socially calibrated and start getting more girls before you know it. How often do you smile?

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2 Replies to “Are You Smiling Enough?”

  1. A healthy level of self-esteem is the root to being able to smile “just because”. In pickup, it’s hard for guys to smile, for many reasons, for example:
    1. Fear of judgement.
    2. Nerves about how they’re going to execute the “pickup program”.
    3. Attachment to outcome.

    This is why the “old-skool” acquisition-based “PUA” model has been replaced. The modern “player” will work on how he feels about himself before fine-tuning his “game” and pickup skills. If you feel good about yourself and what you’re doing, there’s no reason to fear judgement, no reason to run a pickup program/interaction control techniques/resistance management, and no need to be attached to outcome. And therefore… Every reason to smile!

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